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April 01, 2005
You're The Hugspiration, Ty Pennington
That irreverant spiky hair, that bare chest, that spastic personality: What could be better than Ty Pennington?
It takes a special man to build things in two days; it takes a genius to pretend you're doing a whole room without anyone's help; and it takes an angel to do it without his shirt on, while making absolutely hilarious jokes about being locked in the bathroom, or things falling on his head, or needing sustenance thrown through the window.
God, my sides are aching just thinking about it! That Ty -- I could eat him up.
It's just so darn funny how he works with no shirt on, constantly forgetting that cameras are all around. Here, he's all, "WHA? WHO GOES THERE?" and the camera caught him before he realized he wasn't being menaced by an invader, but rather a crew member with almost as wacky a sense of humor as Ty himself.
And yet he's as sensitive as a freshly shorn leg:
>
He's so pensive here. He's probably thinking, "How did I become an inspiration? I'm just a man." And only a multi-layered guy like Ty could do this with a t-shirt depicting some kind of deranged chipmunk.
So Ty Pennington, this hug's for you. Because you are A Talent.
Posted by Heather at 05:46 PM in Celebrities We Want To Hug | Permalink
Comments
Christ that is some funny shit.
Posted by: Hannah | Apr 1, 2005 6:38:19 PM
You are outta your fuggin' mind! Fuggedaboudit--I can get this on ANY fan site! Bring back the venom, bitch!
Posted by: Sumodo | Apr 1, 2005 6:40:12 PM
Rudeness will get you nowhere, jerk. It's funny as hell. BTW, girls, I think that's a deranged beaver on his shirt. Only thing that could be funnier is a deranged beaver and a pussy...cat with mange on there at the same time. LOL.
Posted by: NicBoed | Apr 1, 2005 6:49:36 PM
Maybe it's an angry beaver. Hmmmm, angry beaver and spastic pussy...cat. Now there's a shirt to remember. Too bad there's no cat on there.
Posted by: NicBoed | Apr 1, 2005 6:50:48 PM
It's funny... because it's sarcasm. See, she doesn't really think Ty is amazing and funny and blah blah whatever. It's an ironic tool, that in being overly fawning she's really displaying her contempt for the man. Much as I am doing now in writing this comment.
Posted by: nobody | Apr 1, 2005 7:00:36 PM
It's funny... because it's sarcasm. See, she doesn't really think Ty is amazing and funny and blah blah whatever. It's an ironic tool, that in being overly fawning she's really displaying her contempt for the man. Much as I am doing now in writing this comment.
Posted by: nobody | Apr 1, 2005 7:00:36 PM
Sweet Jesus, I think I just wet my pants!:)
Posted by: Lavel | Apr 1, 2005 7:05:38 PM
Stoppit with the April's fool!!! You're gonna give us all diabetic comas! :oD
Posted by: Maria | Apr 1, 2005 7:08:11 PM
Can't fool me!
Posted by: itsy | Apr 1, 2005 7:18:38 PM
Hey there GoHugYourself Gals, this is great. One time, I totally needed a hug, and. . . like, your site gave me the courage to get up and go find one.
Thanks for restoring my belief in hugs. I needed this.
Posted by: Zaq | Apr 1, 2005 7:24:26 PM
This is just the best!!! Ty Pennington!
He *IS* the Hugspiration!
Can we get Glarkware shirts? With the deranged beaver?
Posted by: ct | Apr 1, 2005 7:32:26 PM
HugMeistresses, you ARE the wind beneath my wings.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Apr 1, 2005 7:32:31 PM
I don't know who this guy is, but can you say, "I wanna be the next Harrison Ford."? I knew you could. Happy April Fools! NOT!
Posted by: jet | Apr 1, 2005 8:14:28 PM
Dude, I'd totally do him. He's hot. Spastic? Helllll yeah! But he is FOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIINE!
Posted by: Ging | Apr 1, 2005 8:28:28 PM
yeah, this better be an april fools joke or else i'm seriously going to cry. i need mean.
Posted by: Christie | Apr 1, 2005 8:36:55 PM
Oh my God, this can be like Brigadoon... it emerges once a year from the mists of the culture of celebrity worship, does a few Scottish jigs, and then disappears again...!!
Girls, I just love your guts.
{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Posted by: Peacebang | Apr 1, 2005 8:39:28 PM
Look! A tool wielding tools!
P.S. Marvelous April Fools prank. You actually fooled me this morning. KUDOS!
Posted by: Jodi | Apr 1, 2005 9:04:12 PM
I, like, totally like, heart Ty!
Posted by: Jeff | Apr 1, 2005 9:06:53 PM
What better way to express my giddiness at your new direction than with a haiku or 2 (written just 4 U!)?
Flower pot babies
So cutesy and huggable
Where's my insulin?
Sittin' on the dock
Underappreciated
Michael Bolton's cute!
Banished to Lifetime
Valerie Bertinelli
Her husband was hot
Murder, She Wrote star
So frequently confused with
Jessica Tandy
I love you, ladies! **squee**
Posted by: lizzymama | Apr 1, 2005 9:19:34 PM
I have Always Liked your Command of the English Language, and with your New Website you have Truly Recreated the Internet. Who would have thought that one day Civility and Humanity, rather than Venom and Hostility would be Popular? I Rather Applaud the change, and hope it is Not a Cruel April Fool's Joke...it would be a Great Loss to Humanity!!
I Wish You Well in all your Future Endeavors, and hope to One Day join the Ranks of Pop Culture Chroniclers, and if your Positive Spin takes off, One Day, I Will!!
Whatever! I hope you're back to spewing the venom soon. You rock, ladies!
Posted by: christie | Apr 1, 2005 9:44:35 PM
Ging, I agree completely. He is freaking GORGEOUS!
Posted by: Anon | Apr 1, 2005 9:44:54 PM
I don't know why he's always yelling into a megaphone, but I do know I'm glad he took that t shirt off. How awesome would he be if he were exactly as he is now, except with tape over his mouth?
Posted by: sera | Apr 1, 2005 9:59:53 PM
Oh god i hope this site is a joke!
Posted by: nicole | Apr 1, 2005 10:38:31 PM
bring back the fugging!
Posted by: Christine | Apr 1, 2005 11:29:30 PM
>>He's so pensive here. He's probably thinking, "How did I become an inspiration? I'm just a man." <<
Well played Heather, well played indeed.
Posted by: AdamP | Apr 1, 2005 11:34:46 PM
I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe when you mentioned his pensive look and beaver shirt. In!Sane!
Oh how I love the mocking!
Posted by: Anhi | Apr 1, 2005 11:55:48 PM
Hilarious stuff, but my, how I do love Ty. That Murder She Wrote lady needs to take a hint and just stop going to parties. Bad things happen when she goes to parties. I won't be inviting her to any of mine...
Posted by: RadiantSky | Apr 2, 2005 12:02:33 AM
IT wasn't an april fools joke?
-uninformedseer.blogspot.com
Posted by: UninformedSeer | Apr 2, 2005 12:05:52 AM
i miss the fugging. *sniff. i'm sad. however, the hugspirations are cute, just as long as they don't last. PLEASE, DON'T MAKE IT LAST.
Posted by: CHERR | Apr 2, 2005 12:15:16 AM
This isn't funny any more. Mommy, I'm scared.
Have you guys been abducted by hug-crazy aliens, or something?
Posted by: Violita | Apr 2, 2005 1:59:21 AM
My first comment, really, but I just wanted to say that in addition to Go Fug Yourself, I love this, too! I find it to be highly amusing and written with the same twist of dry wit as usual.
I can't help but laugh... and be happy. So here's a HUG for you girls. Please keep up the good work.
Posted by: Rachel | Apr 2, 2005 2:50:02 AM
People- stop your whining about bringing back the fug. The girls will bring it back all in due time. Meanwhile, this shit is just as funny because it's so blatantly obvious that they don't mean a single damn word of what they write for these "hugs". Can't you feel the sarcasm dripping from every syllable in Heather's post about Ty?
"And yet he's as sensitive as a freshly shorn leg:"
BEST. LINE. YET. Makes me think of Dr. Evil and his comment on liking a "nicely shorn scrotum".
Posted by: Toni | Apr 2, 2005 3:39:59 AM
Ty used to be hot before he realized how hot he is. Now he's just a dick.
LOVE THE HAIKU...CLEVERER AND MORE CLEVERER!
Posted by: Mary Ann | Apr 2, 2005 3:46:40 AM
April is upon us. Love it.
Posted by: Just another fool | Apr 2, 2005 6:54:22 AM
You have some really stupid readers.....
How can you NOT get this?
Very,very clever! My hat is off to you!
Posted by: a smart reader | Apr 2, 2005 7:24:29 AM
did anyone see that People pic a few years ago, the one with the blue, blue eyes and the nipples? yow.
too bad he's only palatable with the sound off. Only a true god will be able to look hot with a megaphone shoved up his ass.
Posted by: carpedog | Apr 2, 2005 7:24:39 AM
satire
n : witty language used to convey insults or scorn; "he used sarcasm to upset his opponent"; "irony is wasted on the stupid"; "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"--Johathan Swift [syn: sarcasm, irony, caustic remark]
Posted by: a smart reader | Apr 2, 2005 7:27:15 AM
oh where oh where has my little fug gone, oh where oh where could it be? please.... I am begging... please fug me....
Posted by: amy | Apr 2, 2005 7:53:35 AM
Hugs? This is absurd. I demand that the bitterness, the mockery, the general disdain for poorly dressed celebrities return. Why have you left me? Must..insult...someone...I will take it out on everyone around me....please return!
Posted by: Jessica | Apr 2, 2005 8:04:57 AM
What, no mention of the fan-tab-ulous soul patch that Ty sports??
Posted by: Cap'n Fantastic | Apr 2, 2005 8:40:33 AM
Nicely done, ladies. My heart dropped when I saw this originally and then I thought it was brilliant. Well played!
Posted by: Anne | Apr 2, 2005 8:46:49 AM
It's April 2. Bring back the fug.
Posted by: Gumby | Apr 2, 2005 9:09:51 AM
Hilarious! Ty Pennington, another mimbo stealing women's hearts across America.
Posted by: SF Chick | Apr 2, 2005 10:17:28 AM
When I first saw the show, I thought he was Kato Katlin.
Posted by: mrsmogul | Apr 2, 2005 10:42:51 AM
Hugs, Fugs, it's all the same stuff with a different wrapper. Wonderully creative!!! LOVE IT!! You're killing us with your kindness, ladies!
Posted by: Jambi | Apr 2, 2005 10:43:05 AM
ok... april fools day jokes are only supposed to last until 11:59 april 1st. then it goes back to all the lovely fugging. !!!
Posted by: margie | Apr 2, 2005 11:01:58 AM
Ty is the living embodiment of a Saint! (And I mean 'BODY'!! -yum- -sigh- hug.)
He should be forever known as Mother TYresa!
I luva love the episode where he and his crack team of Superdogooders rescue the family of Flipper Boy!
I cried so much I had to mop the floor afterwards!
And Mama Tyresa saved Flipper Boys world while revovering from his charisma and spine transplant. How does Tyresa use his power tools from his hospital bed???
FlipperBoys family were destitute and broke because they didn't have no Healthcare, and after Mama had those 11 chilluns and Pa the three lung transplants, they were bankrupt and living in that two room shack hard against the railroad tracks and facing the Tyson chicken rendering plant and the Pig farm and slaughterhouse.
Poor little Flipper Boy had been born into that squalor, Ma and pa Kettles 12th child and there isn't an HMO on earth that would pay for the needs of an amphibious child born without limbs - only 4 flippers- and gills instead of ears!
Flipper Boy would die if exposed to the air for too long so they kept him in the rusty ol' washbasin full of water and soaking diapers.
Mama TYresa to the rescue! Ty and his his Superhero team swept in and excavated the animal waste and the manure heaps that were crowding the family and created an underwater Marine world for Flipper Boy to play in, complete with Mermaids! ...and Beermaids for Pa who hadn't had a job since the twister took the family double wide homestead in 1972.
Oh how Tyresa sweated shirtless and snorkelled down to create Flipper Boys aqua bed and slide and the cute little undersea cavern for Flipperboy to frolic. The artwork Ty created of the 4 seals playing poker was the perfect touch! (The walrus was cheating! tee-hee).
It was incredible how they stapled and nail-gunned the flippers onto all the sibs so that they could sink down and visit little Flipper.
What was most touching was when Joan Embry arrived with a bucket of chum to feed Flipperboy and teach him all those seal tricks! I never knew they had to use an electric cattle prod to learn them creatures!
The new three seat kybo with vinyl seats and a new hole dug and limed, with the catalogue pages all torn up and neatly stacked was an inspired decorators touch! I hear Sears pages are still the softest for your bum. Call the Fodors Guide! A 5 star cadillac outhouse--how do they think of these things!
Well with the whole family amphibious, and Ty using the drill press to insert their feeding tubes and the the double wide built to the sky with rooms for all, what more could the Supergooders do??? How's about having the Train and stock cars running through the middle of the home! Choo-Choo!! No need for an alarm clock!
I am sooo glad Mama TYresa's team doesn't humiliate the families and pile on unnecessary merchandise, and make the family seem small because they can't buy buy and spend. Why, of course a family living in Fresno needs a Craftsman snow blower and a Craftsman Iditarod sled complete with 14 Huskies and a Craftsman Lawnmower when they live on top of Marineland!
Mama Tyresa, thanka thanka thank you for saving li'l Flipper Boy and making an undersea world for the cherub worthy of Jacques Cousteau!!!!
God---HEARTS---Mama Tyresa!!!!
Posted by: Tee luvs Ty | Apr 2, 2005 11:27:08 AM
I just came really hard from sitting on my sleek anorexic all-metallic american made radio speakers blaring Rush Limbaugh and watching TomDeLay on C-Span. Could it get more erotic than this? Yes it can.
From Ty Pennington, A hetero white guy, All-American as you can clearly infer from his first name, shortened to something as frathousy and high school quarterback-esque as Ty. And yet consider the raging masculine power of its full form glory:TYLER. Strong enough to strike fear in the hearts of homos and liberal pantywaists and yet gentle enough to keep from socking me in the chin where I need it the most.
Ty....ohhh....ummmhhh.
I want me some earnest coked-up-in-the-name-of-Jesus Christian fratkid.
Posted by: Ann Coulter | Apr 2, 2005 12:58:16 PM
You should keep the Go Hug Yourself site up all month just to weed out all the idiots who are whining about it/ don't get it. Bravo ladies!
Posted by: amberigo | Apr 2, 2005 1:27:46 PM
I'm with you, Amberigo!!
Posted by: Jambi | Apr 2, 2005 1:41:21 PM
that post was hysterical, but it does not change the fact that i would totally make out with him.
and "Ann Coulter," i know several people named Ty (not short for anything), and many of them are black.
Posted by: J Ho | Apr 2, 2005 1:57:49 PM
I, who never get headaches, took one look at this and now I feel like someone's driving an iron spike into my skull, just above my eye on my right temple. It's quite fascinating, really. Who knew mental anguish could be transformed into physical pain?
Thanks for my daily dose of agony. Now we must go...BACK TO THE FUGTURE! *kicks her Flex-capacitor, which coughs, shudders, blinks on and off, then comes to life.*
Posted by: Em | Apr 2, 2005 2:14:48 PM
Whats with this hugs and crap?! Can we get back to fuggin it up please!!
Posted by: Andie | Apr 2, 2005 2:20:39 PM
MMMMMMMMM, TY!!!!! Yummmy yummmy yummmmmy! I want to do things to that man that are illegal in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and Guam.
Posted by: iwannatysandwich | Apr 2, 2005 2:23:19 PM
Oy,yesturday (April 1) twas funny.Today still no Fug...I'm sad, and a taaaad bit concerned.
Posted by: Jaalah | Apr 2, 2005 3:07:26 PM
Question: Why don't you have any Nicholas Sparks in your reading recommendations? He's MY Hugspiration.
Posted by: Ferrelyn Zellaby | Apr 2, 2005 3:15:51 PM
Lol! Very funny.
Posted by: Marlene | Apr 2, 2005 3:23:04 PM
even though this is an AFDJ, i still love Ty. i think he's awesome. i wish he was still on Trading Spaces.
and NO, i'm not kidding.
Posted by: Gretchen | Apr 2, 2005 4:16:06 PM
I have learned from my fellow fugians to never eat or drink while reading this site and I am proud to say that today my resolve has paid off in spades. Spades! 'Christ that is some funny shit,' indeed.
Posted by: Sparkly Sheen | Apr 2, 2005 5:26:46 PM
I have truly become a shallow woman andhave removed you from my blogroll with tears of reservation. I like when the cat claws are protruding out, not tucked away. I will truly miss my fugging friends!
Posted by: Greta Perry | Apr 2, 2005 5:57:03 PM
I freaked when I saw this. Where are the celebrities wearing idiotic clothing and the wonderfully snarky comments? Then I realized-April Fool's. You got me.
Posted by: Jen | Apr 2, 2005 5:57:34 PM
I must say, this was funny.....for a little while. You better bring back the fug tomorrow, because I'm going into serious fug withdrawal here!
Posted by: Gracie | Apr 2, 2005 9:36:54 PM
oh, thank you. I've always hated April's Fools jokes. Nothing was ever...funny. This? Some funny shit, indeed.
Posted by: jaeda | Apr 2, 2005 10:07:17 PM
Oh I LOVE this. please don't make it go away. can you do this just every once in awhile, because there is plenty of celebrities to hug.
Posted by: andrea | Apr 2, 2005 10:12:45 PM
Regulars of this blog should know by now that Heather and Jessica don't put up any posts on the weekends. It's not because they're stretching out April Fools. Besides, I agree with Amberigo and think it'd be great if they continued this for a month to weed out the whiny, bitchy people demanding for fug. Remember- this is Heather and Jessica's blog, people. They can put whatever the fuck they want on it.
Posted by: Toni | Apr 2, 2005 11:49:15 PM
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Ty I agree, slap some tape over his mouth. Who cares what he talks about as long as he brings his tools?
Love the joke, btw. I would have missed it if it had been changed after the first, so I'm glad it hung around.
Posted by: kimmah | Apr 3, 2005 7:15:38 AM
I didn't come by GFY for 3 days and this happens?? Oh gawd, I typed in the URL PERSONALLY like about 10 times because I thought:
a) I mistyped or that my keyboard irreverantly switchbed the f and g keys around (since they are beside each other);
b) I was misdirected by some erroneous link in my haste to read the latest FUG;
c) My browser was faulty.
And then...and then......WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Please, please, PLEASE! I don't want to have to beg..bring back gFy. I don't like to hug strangers.
*petulant pout *whine
Posted by: Ez | Apr 3, 2005 8:36:33 AM
Enough hugging. Bring on the fug!
Posted by: Ana | Apr 3, 2005 8:53:13 AM
After seeing all the lame attempts at April Fools posts, you guys NEVER EVER fail to hit a home run. What a complete "pissah", as we say in Brooklyn. Too fucking hilarious.
Posted by: panthergirl | Apr 3, 2005 8:57:33 AM
I do love "Go Fug Yourself" and hope you'll keep reminding people that there is such a thing as too much. But this is deliciously satirical, too. Can I suggest a tribute to the "Hang in there" Kitten poster? A thank you to The Sound of Music soundtrack? A "snaps to celebrities who've kicked the habit" section? Better yet, can I write for it?!!!
Posted by: girlmisanthrope | Apr 3, 2005 9:57:28 AM
My dear, dear, girls. I feel as if I know you. I have faithfully read your cruel, heartless comments since, well, forever. They have brought me sooo much joy! Where are they??? It's like that old proverb that says "I felt bad because I didn't have designer clothes. Then I saw someone with really, really, fugly clothes and I laughed my head off at them." Or something like that. Anyway, I still love yas, but bring back the fugging!
Posted by: obsessive08 | Apr 3, 2005 11:01:25 AM
Having come fresh off of EMHE - aka, The Day Job From Hell - I have to say, this little send-up gives me no end of joy. No end, I say. Thank you for a laugh on my last day there...can you believe they let me go on April Fool's Day? Fitting, considering the contrast to what I'd heard it would be and what it actually was! Thanks so much for the belly laugh. :) kd (ps. I heart Go Hug Yourself and hope for continued postings!)
Posted by: katie d | Apr 3, 2005 8:32:51 PM
Does he have a glass eye? Or a lazy eye? Or is his psychosis making itself known by creating a wandering eye thing. Dude creeps me out. Have no idea why Sears would associate itself with assy man...
Posted by: fashmags | Apr 4, 2005 6:02:33 AM
a grating voice, gayness dujour AND he shops at Sears with other people's families...what more could a girl ask for? ***hugz***
Posted by: juni moon | Apr 4, 2005 7:17:25 AM
I can't believe all the complaining about bringing back the fug. I thought the April Fool's page was HILARIOUS and refreshing. It's unfortunate people can't go a day without ripping people apart to make themselves feel better. Don't get me wrong...I love the Fug, but the satire of these posts was dead on! Great job ladies!
Posted by: Humoured | Apr 4, 2005 8:10:29 AM
Ty... MMmMMmmMMM... yummmmmy.
Posted by: Cherry | Apr 4, 2005 9:30:43 AM
"You should keep the Go Hug Yourself site up all month just to weed out all the idiots who are whining about it/ don't get it. Bravo ladies!"
"I can't believe all the complaining about bringing back the fug. I thought the April Fool's page was HILARIOUS and refreshing. It's unfortunate people can't go a day without ripping people apart to make themselves feel better. Don't get me wrong...I love the Fug, but the satire of these posts was dead on! Great job ladies!"
Word.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tommybarbarella/
Posted by: Catherine | Apr 4, 2005 10:44:51 AM
In that first photo, he's so doing the zoolander pose. What was it called, the blue steel?
Posted by: Stacey | Apr 4, 2005 10:47:02 AM
I think a tribute to Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear is overdue. So huggable. Makes me just wanna squeeze him and squeeze him and squeeze him. Until he takes his last little breath and expires.
Posted by: PUGLY | Apr 5, 2005 6:33:43 PM
tee loves ty, you are my hero. no, seriously. best comment ever.
Posted by: kelly | Apr 5, 2005 9:57:27 PM
For all you that think Ty is hot...ew. In person, he looks like an old leather saddle. Stay out of the sun, Ty! The sun is not your friend.
And Jesus Christ on a bicycle, put on a goddamn shirt.
Posted by: Carrie | Apr 13, 2005 7:04:00 PM
For an old fart he is FINE.
Yeah, I'd do him, leathery or not.
Posted by: old woman | May 1, 2005 10:01:22 AM
As a gay man, I have to say the Ty thing has escaped me. He has scary man-nipples, for one thing. They're the exact same shade as the rest of his leathery chest, rendering them into twin nubs of evil.
Posted by: Craig | Jul 31, 2005 5:31:38 PM
"And only a multi-layered guy like Ty could do this with a t-shirt depicting some kind of deranged chipmunk."
That's true. I didn't even notice the chipmunk until you mentioned it.
Posted by: java | Aug 31, 2006 9:20:52 PM
