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July 29, 2004

Fug Eye for the Queer Guy

All the Queer Eye guys have their quirks: Kyan's the hot one who handles makeovers, Ted's the wry one who works the kitchen, Carson's the quippy one who rules the closet from well outside of it, and Thom is... the Pier 1 dude who is funny and also decorates. The point is, there's a reason baseball only has four bases; the Fab Five seems one person heavy on its roster.

But that was forgiven, because that extra body belonged to Jai Rodriguez, the wee one who's just so cute and cheerful you wish you could take him with you to drink giant martinis during a liquid lunch and gossip about all the celebrity bitches he's met.

Until...

Kyan, whip out your tube -- of hair product, that is, because Jai seems to have forgotten that his place is not, in fact, in The Monkees. It has slipped his mind that he is not Joan Jett.

We need Jai back the way we knew him, the way he was most useful to the show: as the totally pointless one who is along for the ride because he is wee and cute. [I mean, he's certainly not the important part of the show. "Go to the theater." "Don't chew with your mouth open." "Walk one foot in front of the other." "Don't be repulsive." "Learn to read." We get it. That stuff's not rocket science.]

Fix this, Fab Five-Minus-One! To thine own Queer Eyes be true; turn them inward and help your own before it's too late.

Posted by Heather at 06:33 PM | Permalink

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