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July 22, 2004

Pieces of Fug

Such are the component parts of this Ashlee Simpson outfit from the MTV Movie Awards last month:

How do you take a boring blonde and differentiate her from her heinous fair-haired sister? Go through the bargain bin of bedsheets at a Cost Plus/World Market, fashion a "dress" out of one that's the color of cow's vomit, and cinch it with a giant leather yoke once used to rein in some oxen. Dye her hair, caution her not to wash it, and the throw in scraggly extensions that only go halfway around her head, serving to underline the natural lankness of her hair rather than thickening it.

Then give her those shoes: not a flat, not yet a wee kitten heel. An unholy way-station between two undesirable styles.

This is not the way to become the endearing Simpson sister.

Posted by Heather at 11:01 AM in Ashlee & Jessica Simpson | Permalink


I think a cow did actually puke all over her heh.

Posted by: Ngakaari | Jan 31, 2005 9:02:56 PM

I wonder if she's hiding any midgets under that circus tent.

Posted by: Ursula | Feb 1, 2005 6:23:27 AM

Ashlee's massive inferiority complex towards her sister is driving her of the cliff into fugliness legend.
I don't care if your sister is the blond Stepford wife type, it doesn't mean you have to become a gay pirate.

Posted by: J-Bitch | Feb 1, 2005 6:38:00 PM

This piece calls for a ho down!!!!!

Posted by: Jonathan | Feb 1, 2005 6:40:41 PM

Egads, it's absolutely horrifying to scroll down through each celeb's "section" and witness the cavalcade of fug that they've inflicted upon us.

My eyes! My eyes!

Posted by: Special Sauce | Feb 4, 2005 9:10:26 AM

Ashley can't dress, can't sing and can't evn find a straight boyfriend. Cabrera definitely looks like he digs dudes.

Posted by: Molly Rodriguez | Feb 10, 2005 12:49:27 AM

those shoes are like bad dr. scholl's.

Posted by: smitty | Feb 11, 2005 3:31:29 PM

One word Ashley:


Posted by: Victoria | Feb 21, 2005 2:45:20 PM

Hurry, Ashlee, hurry!!! Put your hair in a very high ponytail right on top of your head... Now, put your arms out in front of you... okay, now bend them together making a square shape... Then, nod your head in a downwards motion very rapidly, while blinking your eyes and WISH YOURSELF OUT OF THAT OUTFIT!!!! Either that, or stay in the bottle until you get some fashion sense. Isn't this girl rich enough to afford nice clothes? Maybe she could splurge on someone to dress her???

Posted by: Julie | Feb 27, 2005 11:56:52 PM

David Carradine's pajama robe circa 1973...

Posted by: Monica | Mar 6, 2005 2:53:03 PM

Her scary hammer toes are so disgusting I am going to take to my sick bed now. Please bring me some ginger ale and Saltines when I stop shaking and vomiting.

Posted by: Peacebang | Mar 6, 2005 7:32:05 PM

man dat outfit is hideous. it makes me wanna barf. wat in da world does she think she's doin sittin ther showin her little bra thing. eww...

Posted by: marjorie | Mar 7, 2005 7:30:41 PM

What about that beak she passes off as her nose? Can somebody just punch her now????

Posted by: Kenneth | Mar 10, 2005 6:50:23 PM

Oh girl. You are so played.

Posted by: taffetta | Mar 12, 2005 5:44:55 PM

There is nothing punk rock about this girl. How come Ashleeze gets her own TV show, and not the real deal, a.k.a. Kelly Osbourne? I would much rather see a Kelly show. I'd rather see an Avril Lavigne show to tell you the truth.

Posted by: blabla | Mar 14, 2005 9:40:00 PM

IF she were blonde...she'd look like Princess Diana...when she was fat and slovenly.

Posted by: The Anchoress | Mar 18, 2005 5:03:29 PM

Someone needs to tell Ashlee how to dress...

She doesn't look cute, she doesn't how to dress, and she needs to fire all her friends and hire new ones.

Posted by: Lori | Mar 26, 2005 4:16:24 PM

Hey! Here are another picture of Ashlee Simpson in all her fugliness.


What? What's that you say? That's Steve Perry, from Journey? Oh, my bad...

But you can see the similarities, right?

Posted by: Anna | Mar 31, 2005 6:25:39 AM

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