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August 30, 2004

VMA Fug Carpet: Lil' Kim

I was going to compliment Lil' Kim on her relative modesty this year, considering that only 98 percent of the total acreage of her breasts was visible to the public. Not a nipple in sight. But then I caught a full-body shot of her arrival:

In that dress she looks like some kind of deranged peacock-turned-synchronized swimmer. Also:

Dear Lil' Kim:

Congratulations. You have a vagina. But you know what? So do I. Yet when I'm in public it somehow, magically, manages to stay inside my pants. If you would like some tips on vaginal concealment, I suggest that you contact some professionals -- like, say, Diane Keaton's stylist. I think that person could teach you a lot.


Posted by Heather at 10:11 AM in Lil' Kim, VMAs | Permalink


I'm embarassed to say this, but the pink chiffon thingy Lil' Kim is holding to the side resembles a labia. Eew. I could totally have gone a lifetime without having made THAT connection. I think I need to go wash my eyeballs.

Posted by: lizzymama | Feb 13, 2005 12:34:08 PM

Weasels ripped her flesh, and her dress.

Posted by: Jennifer B. | Feb 28, 2005 5:12:27 PM

Ahh, so THIS is what happens when you take a couple of canteloupes and a zebra and mix them together in a blender.

Posted by: Stelllaaa | Mar 17, 2005 1:21:15 PM

She looks like a Zebra's vagina!!!

Posted by: Justine | Mar 25, 2005 10:55:45 AM

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