August 30, 2004
VMA Fug Carpet: Lil' Kim
I was going to compliment Lil' Kim on her relative modesty this year, considering that only 98 percent of the total acreage of her breasts was visible to the public. Not a nipple in sight. But then I caught a full-body shot of her arrival:
In that dress she looks like some kind of deranged peacock-turned-synchronized swimmer. Also:
Dear Lil' Kim:
Congratulations. You have a vagina. But you know what? So do I. Yet when I'm in public it somehow, magically, manages to stay inside my pants. If you would like some tips on vaginal concealment, I suggest that you contact some professionals -- like, say, Diane Keaton's stylist. I think that person could teach you a lot.
I'm embarassed to say this, but the pink chiffon thingy Lil' Kim is holding to the side resembles a labia. Eew. I could totally have gone a lifetime without having made THAT connection. I think I need to go wash my eyeballs.
Posted by: lizzymama | Feb 13, 2005 12:34:08 PM
Weasels ripped her flesh, and her dress.
Posted by: Jennifer B. | Feb 28, 2005 5:12:27 PM
Ahh, so THIS is what happens when you take a couple of canteloupes and a zebra and mix them together in a blender.
Posted by: Stelllaaa | Mar 17, 2005 1:21:15 PM
She looks like a Zebra's vagina!!!
Posted by: Justine | Mar 25, 2005 10:55:45 AM
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