Emmy Fug Carpet: Maria Menounos

Poor Maria Me"no-no"s:

Nobody told her that she wasn't in a third-grade production of The Fugcracker, so she showed up swaddled in tulle with a corset so tight it made pancakes of her breasts. When she was shot from the side during interviews, my chest spontaneously began to hurt -- she was droopier than Eeyore. I wanted to grab her by the bodice and yank upward.

The outfit looked even worse when she was interviewing people on the carpet, because most people around Maria had a glamorous floor-length dress, and she looked like Glinda the Good Witch at her high-school prom. Apparently the only thing Ms. M learned from Lara Flynn-Boyle's Hooker Ballerina look at the 2003 Golden Globes was that knee-high lace-up slippers are a bad idea. I suppose we can be thankful for that small mercy.