The Fug Pimp

This man's name is Archbishop Don Magic Juan. Which makes perfect sense, especially if that actually is a blinged-out chalice in his left hand:

His Holiness looks like the Von Trapp Family pimp. His poor mother will sure miss those pale blue curtains, but it was well worth it for the matching sombrero. Ol√ɬ(c), homeslice!

I'm guessing the theory is: The more uncannily he resembles a couch, the more chicks will splay themselves all over his lap. Llife must look better through those aqua-blinged sunglasses.