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October 05, 2004

Ben Affleck Bloat Watch 2004

Having watched this season's premiere of Saturday Night Live, I was relieved to see that Ben Affleck seems to be getting his horrible creeping bloat somewhat under control. His body appears considerably less squashy -- thanks to a man-corset? You didn't hear it from me -- although his undereye bags still make him look like he recently regained consciousness in the alley behind the local Boobs 'n' Booze. He remains a mere shadow of his former handsome self, to be sure, and he certainly seemed steeped in bitterness at certain points during the episode, but it does seem as though Jennifer Garner is forcing him to take first baby steps toward debloatification, although she's been unable, as of yet, to completely irradicate the fine sheen of flop sweat that seems to engulf him 24/7.

To wit:

Sadly, I guess he's still too mired in the slow motion trainwreck that is his life -- and those, my friends, were his words, not mine -- to shave.

Posted by Jessica at 02:10 PM in Celebrity Terror Watch | Permalink

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