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October 28, 2004

My Fugly Ending

Remember that Sweet Valley High book where Elizabeth gets in the motorcycle accident and ends up in a coma and when she comes out of it, she thinks she's Jessica and so she acts all slutty and difficult and almost sleeps with Bruce Pattman -- even going so far as to let him touch her boob! -- until, right before she gives it up to Bruce, she drunkenly rolls over and conks her head on the coffee table, and that knocks the Elizabeth back into her?

I think that's what's happened to Hilary Duff:

Except, for "Jessica," read "Avril Lavigne." And, as clearly demonstrated by the photo above, Hilary/Elizabeth has not yet slammed her head against any furniture. So, by my calculations, this means that Hilary is about 15 minutes away from letting that kid from Good Charlotte grab her left breast.

Paparazzi, remain vigilant!

Posted by Jessica at 01:32 AM in Hilary & Haylie Duff | Permalink


Not to be a nerdy stickler, but it's Patman with one "t". 1BRUCE1 would not have it any other way.

Posted by: Keara | Feb 4, 2005 1:52:04 PM


Posted by: Kafren | Feb 5, 2005 1:09:31 PM


I actually DO remember reading that exact SVH book.

Posted by: Stargazer | Feb 9, 2005 11:56:41 AM

You guys are completely right. It jsut confuses why she is dressed as a punk rocker if she's singign about cacoons.
Fly hilary.

Posted by: Catinka | Feb 11, 2005 9:08:09 PM

gawd, she almost blends in with the background!

Posted by: Victoria | Feb 21, 2005 2:36:10 PM

When you have the textbook definition of cankles, you really shouldn't highlight them with skin-tight capris. And get some sun. Glaring white is NOT slimming.

Posted by: Melissa | Feb 23, 2005 3:30:11 PM

Ha-ha, you said cankles, ha ha. It's a funny word.

She and her sister have rather horsey faces. And I apologize to all horse lovers for that remark. You know what I mean.

Cankles, snort. What a funny word!

Posted by: Lois Steem | Mar 5, 2005 6:46:20 AM

Shit man. I totally DO remember that book. And what a perfect analogy! Rock on.

Posted by: retailharlot | Mar 6, 2005 6:13:33 PM

"gawd, she almost blends in with the background!"

I think thats a good thing considering her outfit..

Posted by: Cotton | Mar 17, 2005 11:08:35 AM

I'm 31 and I still own that book. Is that wrong?

Posted by: Claire | Mar 17, 2005 12:29:35 PM

yeah, i think she just woke up one day, said "how 'bout i wear all black so nobody can see me. Then i can just turn on the pre-recorded music that i lipsync to, go to the back stage door, and hop on my motorcycle ride away into the sunset with Ryan Michael Beckham (have you seen that photo? if you haven't, scroll down the page!!!!)

Posted by: CocoaButta | Mar 18, 2005 7:06:50 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.


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