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December 13, 2004

crazy/fugliful II: uncapitalized fug boogaloo

We knew Kirsten Dunst was making a scary transition into a geriatric, but we didn't realize it was going to be so permanent:

Judging by this reader-submitted photo, Granny Dunst is getting ready -- sartorially speaking -- to buy a condo in Naples, Florida, where her braless breasts can finally complete their frantic surge toward her knees. She will don her flowery frock over her jazzercise leggings, grab her bermuda purse, and shlep to bridge, not bothering to shower because Eau d'Old Lady is potent enough that the rest of the foursome won't smell the sweat.

[Also, she doesn't have time -- she has to go home first to find Edna's BeDazzler, which she's had for months even though she finished plugging her shoes with lead a long time ago. If Edna doesn't get it back then she can't loan it to Madge, and if Madge doesn't get it in time to make her denim caftan sparkle before Tuesday's Red Lobster Seniors' Night mixer, well, she'll never fork over her recipe for Stewed Pork Chops In Prune Sauce.]

Posted by Heather at 12:06 PM in Kirsten Dunst | Permalink


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