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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Thora Birch

Thora Birch swung by an Oscar party on her way home from work at the insurance company.

THORA! Seriously? YOUR HAIR HAS GOT TO GO. You look like you wash it with undiluted chlorine.  Hot oil treatment! A trim! AN ACTUAL HAIRDRESSER. These are all things you need to look into. Please.

Posted by Jessica at 05:40 PM in Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Marley Shelton

[Photos courtesy of Daily Celeb]

Somebody please tell Marley Shelton that the B in "B-list" doesn't stand for, "Bird, exotic." Then maybe she'll stop dressing like one in the hope of vaulting herself up the celebrity food chain.

Posted by Heather at 04:35 PM in Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Jessica Simpson

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

STOP TANNING, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. People aren't supposed to look like that. I don't care if it's spray-on or sun-seared -- she's going to look like a pair of old boots when she's older. God. What's wrong with being flesh-colored?

Posted by Heather at 04:20 PM in Ashlee & Jessica Simpson, Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Bai Ling

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

After her nip-slip, Bai Ling may merely have wanted to be safe in the knowledge that her girls were under control when she chose this dress. But I can't help wishing that she could find a way to cover herself without opting for a billowing, barely tailored striped sheath that looks like a Victoria's Secret shopping bag as reconceived by Lance Armstrong's rubber-bracelet people.

Is she hiding Courtney Peldon in there? There's certainly enough room.

Posted by Heather at 10:21 AM in Bai Ling, Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Fugshion: Beyonce

Oh, sweet LORD, this redefines the phrase "dripping with diamonds":

That is a lot of ice Beyonce is wearing around her neck. That is Antarctica in necklace form. I'm surprised Star Jones, who wouldn't shut up about how "Mrs. Reynolds" was clad in $500,000 in jewels, didn't run up on stage and punch Beyonce in the face for outblinging her. I really hope this absurdity puts a cork in everyone's quest to look like the most expensive mannequin in the room.

Somewhere, a rapper has died of jealousy.

Posted by Heather at 10:04 AM in Beyonce, Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Alexis Bledel

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

It seems Alexis Bledel is only now wandering back from Mardi Gras. Her face says, "Please don't ask me what I did to get iridescent beads. You really, really don't want to know. God, I need some Advil and a nap."

Posted by Heather at 09:04 AM in Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Anjelica Huston

I'm so confused as to why Angelica Huston has dressed herself as a satin drawstring bag:

<[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

The bottom part? Ill-fitting, but tailored to the Oscars. But the top is pure, bullet-colored pirate-wench couture. And not in a good way. If she flapped those things, she'd fly away.

Posted by Heather at 08:58 AM in Oscars | Permalink

Oscar Fashion: Spreading the Fug

The Oscars get us in such a tizzy here at Go Fug Yourself HQ that we figured we'd get a head start on anointing the fug and the fabulous.

Check out our red-carpet slideshow, courtesy of the good folks at MSNBC, but keep visiting us here because we'll be fugging the post-parties, and other assorted sartorial shenanigans from Oscar night.

Posted by Heather at 06:00 AM in Oscars | Permalink

February 25, 2005

Celebrity Nipple Watch: Fug Ling

Hold onto your hats, guys (unless they are trucker hats, in which case, discard them with a quickness): Bai Ling is -- gasp -- clothed:

Look! She's relatively covered! None of her sexual organs are hanging out for the world to see!

It's a mirac...

[Photos by Daily Celeb.]


Figures. And to think, I was all atitter. ... Er, atwitter.

Posted by Heather at 10:54 AM in Bai Ling, Celebrity Terror Watch | Permalink

Nothing But a Fug Shirt On....

Poor J. Simp.

First, Paris Hilton's T-Mobile gets hacked and the entire world reads that, among other juicy tidbits, Justin Timberlake shot Jessica down and she had to settle for nailing Adam Levine, and that she's addicted to the power.* And now, this:

Sigh. The Scarf Tied Around the Leggings is this millennium's variation on the If I Tie This Sweater Around My Hips, My Ass Will Look Smaller epidemic of 1995. You might feel like some camouflage work has been done, but it's really just drawing attention to the very area you're trying to conceal.

And then, there's the shirt. In a way, it's supportive and sweet of Jessica to be wearing Ashlee's merchandise. On the other hand, man, that's a bad concert tee. If only Tee Shirt Ashlee was wearing a shirt that had Jessica on it. And if the Jessica on this fictional tee shirt was wearing a shirt that had a picture of Ashlee on it, then....wow, now my head hurts.

Let us not even speak of the Return of the Leggings. No. Hush. I can't handle that today.

*Allegedly. Look, I'm just repeating what I heard from Paris.

Posted by Jessica at 10:30 AM in Ashlee & Jessica Simpson | Permalink


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