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March 24, 2005

Fugou Fugips

Bijou Philips is in character for her leading role in the new film, There's Something About That Snotty Adolescent Who Works Down at the DQ Who's Always Chomping Her Gum And If I Find Some Gum in My Blizzard, I Am Going to Call The Manager, Which I Really Ought To Do Anyway, Because Her Attitude Is Just Not Acceptable:

Posted by Jessica at 12:08 PM | Permalink

March 23, 2005

Rollin' With the Fuggies

Here's the thing. We here at Go Fug Yourself are SO PLEASED by how good Brittany Murphy looks....from the neck up. She's abandoned  the unfortunate blonde look in favor of her own naturally brunette locks.  She looks so much prettier with the new hair -- and the couple of extra pounds she's added helps. She's certainly still slim, but she looks healthy and happy.

But. The outfit.

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb]

Tai, Tai, Tai! What would Cher say? I imagine it would involve the words "satin garbage bag," and "ew."  You are so cute! Why are you wearing something that makes you look like a peach-flavored Stay Puft Marshmallow Woman? Don't do this to yourself! You're such a pretty girl!

Posted by Jessica at 10:11 AM | Permalink

March 22, 2005

Fuggy Trendy

It's almost like Bobby Trendy's stint of the mayor of Tacky McCrazyville has transformed him into something that's not even human anymore, and because he's no longer flesh and blood, but merely plastic and vinyl and what appears to be a great amount of ruched satin, his tackiness has turned the Fug Avenue corner and he's now streaming up Trashtastic Boulevard on some kind of very, very gay float.

I mean, you sort of have to hand it to him: that outfit is SO COMPLETELY WRONG that it's ALMOST hilariously right, sort of like Angelyne, or Dance 360.  The fluffy fluffy jacket, that might not quite be dead? The Don Ho Barbie shirt? The pants WITH HIS NAME ON THEM IN RHINESTONES? I'm torn between wanting to throw a drink in his face and then kiss him and wanting to run him down with my car.

Posted by Jessica at 10:17 AM | Permalink

March 21, 2005

PS

We here at Go Fug Yourself would like to thank all y'all who may have had anything to do with our nomination in this quarter's Diarist Awards. We love to be nominated for things!

Posted by Jessica at 04:55 PM | Permalink

Fug Eyed Peas

Fergie, currently of The Black Eyed Peas, but known to me now and forever as Stacy from Kids Incorporated,  decides that if one trend is good, seven trends must be better:

Cowboy boots? Check.

Trucker hat? Check.

Pants of unflattering and awkward length? Check.

Shiny cardi-shrug? Check.

Oodles of jewelry? Check.

Tanorexia? Check.

Anonymous male escort who looks vaguely ashamed to be with you, especially since there are photographers around and oh my God, y'all, what if they think we're dating when I'm actually just friends with your friend and I accidentally ended up in this picture SWEET GOD I DON'T ENDORSE THIS OUTFIT, PEOPLE, PLEASE DON'T THINK I DO.

Posted by Jessica at 10:09 AM in Fergie (the Pea, not the duchess) | Permalink

March 18, 2005

Blu Fug

Singer Blu Cantrell is giving up the music and joining Stars on Ice!

Or was it Stars on Crack? God, I can't find that press release.

Posted by Jessica at 10:02 AM | Permalink

March 17, 2005

Yadda Yadda Fug

Dear Bai Ling,

We get it.

Now, put on some pants.

Posted by Jessica at 10:02 AM in Bai Ling | Permalink

March 15, 2005

That Fugenties Show

Due to unfortunate reasons beyond our control, Heather and I have recently found ourselves inordinately busy at our day jobs. Therefore, we have a request:

If you run into Hyde, could you give him a message for us? We're not sure if he realizes that he wears this hat (or, occasionally, one VERY VERY SIMILAR TO IT, which appears to be in some kind of twill and is, I suspect The Summer Hat) to EVERY SINGLE EVENT AT WHICH HE COULD HUMANLY BE PHOTOGRAPHED and it's starting to freak us out.

What's under there? At first, we thought it was just that he really really liked the hat. But now, years down the line, we're beginning to wonder. Sure, maybe it's to keep the Hyde 'fro under control. But doesn't he own other caps? A baseball cap? Maybe even -- oh God, I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but it's UNDER DURESSS -- another trucker hat [OH GOD I'M SORRY I SAID THAT PLEASE FORGIVE ME]?

What if Hyde is actually BALD and his 'fro on television is but a WigFro, and the reason we never see him sans chapeau is because when he is sans chapeau he is also SANS HAIR?

Think about it.

(In the interest of our sanity, we're assuming Ben Foster has gone all skinhead for a role.)

Anyway, if you see him, please pass the word along.

Cheers!

Posted by Jessica at 09:37 PM | Permalink

Harry Potter and the FugFug Fug

Oh my God, Emma Watson, why? WHY?

You are an adorable and lovely young lady! Why are you wearing...this? Are you uncomfortable out of your Hogwarts uniform? Because, frankly, I would rather you wore that around town than those jeans tucked into those flat boots. If you insist on the Jeans Tucked Into Boots thing, the boots need heels, or you're just going to look stumpy. Stumpy!

And the black shirt? So cute. BUT SO NOT A VEST. And if it WERE a vest, you shouldn't be layering it over WHAT LOOKS LIKE THERMAL UNDERWEAR. Let me be clear: I appreciate your girlish modesty. I am so pleased that your young boobies aren't falling out all over the place and that you're not prancing about with your thong waving in the breeze. But you just look so very confused in this outfit. So confused. So uncomfortable. So much like you need professional fashion help.

Surely there's something in your spell book that you can use to cook up a new stylist?

Posted by Jessica at 10:15 AM | Permalink

March 14, 2005

I Keep On Falling In Fug

Alicia Keys, at a recent concert:

You know that game they sometimes force you to play at wedding showers, where you have to dress people as brides using only toilet paper? This is like that, except GONE HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG.

Posted by Jessica at 12:25 PM | Permalink

 

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