Rachel Fugson

Who told Rachel Bilson she looked cute in this? Was it Mischa? It must have been Mischa. Rachel: NEVER LISTEN TO MISCHA. Her boyfriend is a walking flake of dandruff.

I wish this were a better shot of the full outfit, but even at this angle, I can tell that it's bringing me pain. Each piece looks like she stole it from a costume department: that white thing would seem to be petticoat-esque, as if it's never actually supposed to see the light of day because Dr. Quinn's best surgical dress always goes over it, and that vest feels like Pa Ingalls would be fixin' for a tantrum if he found out she'd ganked it from his trunk. It's four sizes too big.

Don't dress like a dumpster-diver, Rachel. You're too cute for that. And it's not like shirts at Forever 21 cost more than twelve dollars -- splurge a little, okay? If you need help, give us a ring.

But don't call Mischa.