A Royal Fugging: Spawn of The Hat

Remember that old Dana Carvey character from Saturday Night Live, called Massive Head Wound Harry? He'd walk around with a giant open wound, set at a jaunty angle, taking up half his skull.

I feel like Laura Parker-Bowles might have been watching The Best of Dana Carvey before she showed up at her mother's wedding:

I'm not sure what that is on her head -- it's a hat; it's a gold-painted model of an atom; it's a hidden weapon that, when thrown, decapitates your foe; it's the world's most untimely bubble-gum accident and there wasn't a nearby pair of scissors with which to cut out the tangle... The list goes on.

What the had isn't, is attractive. Everyone around her needs to watch out -- that thing could severely injure someone's precious, precious eyes. Don't get too close, for the love of God.