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April 13, 2005

Happy Birthday To Our Favorite Fuglet

We here at Go Fug Yourself have made no secret of the fact that we're both baffled by Courtney Peldon -- Who? Why? How? What is that thing she's wearing? -- but we've also grown to love her for her insane taste, scary-large fake boobs, and general ubiquity.

So we're pleased to learn that today is Ms. Peldon's 24th birthday. We'd like to wish her a very happy birthday indeed, because without La Peldon we wouldn't have choked on nearly as much righteous indignation in the past year.

We can only dream of what glorious celebrations might be taking place today, to honor this sweet creature. Fortunately for us, we can sate that craving through history, with photos of Courtney's 23rd birthday party; we can at least revel in The Fug That Was. And there's no better place to start than with a view of the cake that her friends and family lovingly ordered for the pointless starlet:

On my birthday, I won't be happy unless my relatives order a giant sheet cake from Von's that is decorated with a photo of me posing in a bra and panties. For Courtney, clearly the only way to express appreciation for her presence in this world was to ask people to eat her breasts.

And then things took an eerily prescient turn:

She's so happy with her knife. So innocent. So blissfully unaware of her fate. Courtney! Stop! Put it down. I know you're probably ashamed that you're wearing a green shirt with some sort of Satanic cat on the front, but please, don't let the devil's pussy infect you! Put down the knife! Knives are stabby! For the love of God and fug, put it --

Sigh. It's so sad to see yet another young girl turn to cutting. [And let's not even start on wondering which part of her body she chose to eat.] Odd that only half a year later, a friendly instrument of slicing just like this one would find its way through her for real.

We're happy you're well now, Courtney. Please come back to the fug. You haven't been out and about much lately, and when you have been, nothing terrible has graced your form. We're going through withdrawal here.

Posted by Heather at 10:32 AM in Courtney Peldon | Permalink

 

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