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April 07, 2005

That Fugly Fug

Wilmer Valderrama was in the middle of re-piping his septic tank when his publicist called.

Publicist: Wilmer? Where are you? Are you stuck in traffic?
Wilmer: Wha?
Publicist: Can you hear me? Are you stuck in the canyon?
Wilmer: Huh?
Publicist: WHERE ARE YOU?
Wilmer: At home.
Publicist:  Why haven't you left yet?
Wilmer: Wha?
Wilmer:  Huh?
Publicist: You're supposed to be at a PARTY. It's an important photo op! Now that you're not dating Lindsay anymore, we've got to keep you in the spotlight! Do you know how long it took me to get people to stop calling you "Fez"? One more month and they might actually get "Valderrama" right.
Wilmer: Wha?
Publicist: That bitch at Access Hollywood keeps calling me and asking for interviews with Wilber Maldenado.
Wilmer: Huh?
Publicist: WILMER. I don't care what you're doing.  Get in the car and get your ass over here.
Wilmer: But....
Publicist: I DON'T CARE. You need to be at this party NOW. I think US Weekly's stringer is getting read to leave! Get in the car NOW and get here.  I don't care how bad you smell.
Wilmer: Huh?
Publicist: NOW.


Posted by Jessica at 10:38 AM | Permalink


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