May 26, 2005
I kind of get the feeling that Courtney Love has no idea how to control her new, larger body, and that parts of it are sort of sloshing around, uncontained, like a Big Gulp spilling all over your gear shift when you take a turn too fast.
[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb]
Courtney, babe, you just don't look comfortable. I feel like you're going to be tugging that shirt down all night. Invest in something that fits you a bit better. Or something. Man. Yeah. Honestly? I don't know how to help you. Nothing there fits right. Your proportions are all off. In fact, I'm just going to throw up my hands, and congratulate you on how cute Francis Bean is. She looks just like her Dad, doesn't she? In fact, -- oh, hell. I can't keep up the charade: YOUR BOOBS ARE HUGE NOW. I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THEM. I'M WORRIED ONE OR BOTH MIGHT JUST POP OUT OF THAT TOP AND NOT IN A SEXY WAY, IN A "GOD DAMN I KNEW THESE BUTTONS WERE SUSPECT AND THAT'S WHY I TIED THE FRONT OF THIS SHIRT WITH A WEIRD LACEY THINGIE, PLEASE HAND ME A DING DONG BECAUSE NOTHING FITS AND THEY TOOK AWAY MY HEROIN" KIND OF WAY.
Seriously. A little more tailoring from you, a lot less caps lock from me. Is all I'm saying.