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June 15, 2005

Eyes Wide Fugged

What is up with people being mistaken about their own identities lately? First, Tom Cruise started confusing himself with his character from Magnolia, in addition to the seemingly egregious error of mistaking Katie Holmes for Vaginal Salvation; then, Hilary Duff and her overly capped fangs began trotting around looking like Chloe Sevigny's little sister.

Now, the icing on the cake: Leelee Sobieski seems to be laboring under the delusion that she is... well, anyone at all, but more specifically in this case, Bai Ling or Stephanie Seymour:

[Photo courtesy of Lime-light.org.]

Leelee up there is in the act of celebrating the fact that she turned 23 without being felled by the dreaded knee cancer. However, she has evidently chosen to do it by throwing a wild sex picnic during a Bananarama tribute concert, and subsequently getting arrested for indecent exposure, after which a tipsy Leelee gleefully and haphazardly wrapped herself in the blanket and tottered out slurring, "I'M YOUR VENUS, BITCHES"; happily, she got herself bailed out of jail so she could go straight to The Spider Club without missing a single slice of the Here On Earth-themed birthday cake she bought herself to remind everyone that She Is A Serious Actress Indeed, and not simply a block of wood with a garbled man-voice, as has been previously reported.

Happy Birthday, Leelee. Cute bra. I got you a safety pin.

Posted by Heather at 07:46 AM | Permalink


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