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June 27, 2005

War Of The Fug

Little Dakota Fanning's parents need to stop playing dress-up with her.

Cute girl, good actress (if a bit ubiquitous) -- but by all accounts, neither a wind-up child, nor a ballerina, nor a misbehaving wench who deserves to wear knickers of punishment. The dress itself might've looked cute without the petticoat pants and those ballet shoes, but unfortunately for Dakota, her parents didn't leave those at home in the toy chest and she therefore resembles rather closely a Madame Alexander limited edition Exploited Child Star #32 With Collector's Box And Souvenir Contract Entitling Her Parents To Everything She Makes Until She Is 18, At Which Time, She Can Have Whatever They Haven't Spent To Renovate The Kitchen.

And looking like a doll is not cute. Dolls are creepy -- creepy -- with the crazy eyes, and the bloomers, and the porcelain skin -- and did I mention the insane orbs of covert malicious intent that stare at you from every which angle and will not leave you alone and for the love of all that is good and true in this world PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT ME...?

Ahem. Everything's fine. Except her wardrobe.

Posted by Heather at 07:46 AM | Permalink


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