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July 22, 2005

America's Next Top Fug

No one was a bigger fan of  America's Next Top Model's sweet little Kahlen than I was.  So cute! So sweet! So emotional! So forced to struggle through week after week with a molting weave leaking handfuls of hair onto her pillow.

And yet.

This is just not working. Everything about this outfit conspires to make her look short. Even her unfortunate Ryan From The OC Meets Sandy's Trampy Outfit From the Final Scene in Grease shirt makes her look stumpy. And the kid is tall, so that's quite a feat for her SHIRT to make her look short. She's all cut off at the shoulders.

Then she's all cut off at the belt. Which is fine, actually, in theory, except for the part where she seems to have placed the buckle not in the center of her waist, but over her left hip, and are the kids doing that these days? Because that's okay, I guess, I just wish someone would have let me know.

And then, we have the jeans. Oh, Kahlen. Sweetpea.  I know you are tall. But those jeans have been let out within an inch of their hemmed little lives and they don't make you look like you're wearing jeans that fit. They make you look like you're wearing pants that are too short for you. I know the tall girls have issues with finding pants that are appropriately long, but I feel like this is an area wherein Miss Tyra could give you some guidance. Call on Miss Tyra! Miss Tyra lives to help people, either with their interpersonal and familial issues, or their eating disorders, or their cutting, or their homelessness, or their pants.  You've got that phone number, kiddo. Use it.

Posted by Jessica at 12:09 PM | Permalink


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