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July 28, 2005

Wanted: Fug Or Alive

We're officially issuing an All Points Bulletin for whomever is responsible for the crimes perpetrated against Jessica Lange's face:

Sweet cracker sandwich. The woman is only 56 years old. Do you know who is the exact same age? Susan Motherf'ing Sarandon.

Compare and contrast, if you will:

Jessica. Give Susan a call for a referral, and then report your doctor to the Board of Plastic Surgeons for HIDEOUS CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY BY WHICH I MEAN YOUR NOT-NEARLY-AS-OLD-AS-IT-LOOKS FACE, stat.

Seriously. You look about eleventy.

Posted by Jessica at 02:01 PM | Permalink


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