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August 05, 2005

Fuglia Stiles

Oh, man, I am so ready for this trend to go away:

Actually, that sentence could apply to a number of things in this picture:

1. Tube dresses. There's nothing hotter than the way a taut strip of elastic hugs your torso, milks your armpits for some cleavage, shoves your actual cleavage down toward your waist in teardrop-shaped lumps, and then skulks slowly down your torso so that you have to spend your entire day hiking it up again.

2. Ballet flats. There are exceptions to every rule, but I just find that in most cases, flats in this style can stumpify even the willowiest model. They're certainly not doing Julia up there any favors.

3. These godawful thin, stretchy cotton garments with stripes that shoot off in different directions. At least La Stiles isn't sporting one of those wretched pink and purple ones. The most infamous garment in this vein is the skirt, which usually comes with some kind of bunched-fabric waist, a droopy flower or sash at the hip, and a ragged Fairy Queen hemline. I feel like these, and their tube-top/dress kin as seen above, have been pimped by various retailers for going on eleventeen years now. They are older than the interminable, neverending boho obsession. They even predate Dumpster Britney, which is saying something, as I can't actually remember the last time she looked cute and clean. Isn't it time for this fabric of doom to go away? Must we be sartorially smote from on high in this manner? Can't we all just move on to the next big bad thing? At least fresh distaste that eventually devolves into rage is... well, fresh.

Posted by Heather at 12:30 PM | Permalink

 

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