Fugstore Cowboy

So, I have this little mental block surrounding Kelly Lynch:

I can not keep her and Kelly Preston apart in my mind. Which is, of course, ridiculous, as Kelly Lynch was all kind of cool and shit in Drugstore Cowboy, and was sort of fantastic in Charlie's Angels and is kind of interesting for those reasons, while Kelly Preston, you know, thinks Scientology rocks.  And yet, I always call Kelly Preston Kelly Lynch and Kelly Lynch Kelly Preston and just the other day, I couldn't remember for the life of me which one of them got nailed by Tom "Nutball" Cruise in the opening of Jerry Maguire, until I then realized that naturally it must have been Preston, because of their mutual belief in the rockingness of Scientology.

But I wonder if other people have problems keeping them apart in their minds, and if so, maybe that explains this outfit Kelly Lynch is wearing to the Domino premiere. It's like, defensive fashion. You see, I'm sure when other Scientologists mistakenly believe you are a super prominent Scientologist, they probably come up to you all the time and start yapping about clams and Thetans and Xenu and blah blah blah blah blah.  And if you are not said super prominent Scientologist, you probably get sick of having to tell people you're NOT a super prominent Scientologist, especially because then they are totally going to try to suck you in and make you a zombie incubator for the offspring of one of their high-ranking actor members, and nobody wants that. So what you need to do is wear something that will easily hypnotize, and/or induce seizures in someone who gets too close to you -- much like this dress! So when the Scientologist groupies come up to you and start blabbing, all you need to do is give a little shimmy, and when they fall to the floor gripping their temples and screaming about their eyes, you run!

So, see, Kelly Lynch is smart.