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October 05, 2005

Pledge Fug

Well, folks, it's been a difficult week here at Go Fug Yourself HQ, for obvious reasons. Frankly, we feel as if a couple as truly commited to each other, as clearly deeply in love and as obviously devoted to honest and upfront communication as Man Paris and Paris Paris can't make it, what hope do any of the rest of us have for forging a true and lasting relationship?

Thank god Paris Paris is holding it together okay.

Or so it seems.

Look deeper. Can't you see that's it's just a facade? She's all going out in last summer's flirty cotton ruffled skirt and her sister's ugly tank top, pretending that it's 2004 and she hasn't even MET Man Paris yet and the only problem in her sunny, shiny life is how she keeps losing Tinkerbell and the way people keep falling into her vagina. On camera. 

But can't you smell the heartbreak? Don't you just know that the sunglasses are hiding tear-stained eyes? Isn't it obvious that after the event, she and Nicky are going to climb in their car and she's going to sob and sob all over Nicky's twee seersucker evening shorts, and eventually, she won't be able to hold it in anymore -- she'll unleash her barbaric, heartbroken yawp to the Southern Californian night air: "NICOLE'S GETTING MARRIED AND I'M NOOOOOOOOT!"

Posted by Jessica at 08:13 AM in Paris & Nicky Hilton | Permalink


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