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November 30, 2005

Goodbye Fug: Randy Quaid

It's tough to be Randy Quaid.

Well, okay, not really. He's a talented actor, he's funny, he grilled burgers made of Hamburger Helper in National Lampoon's Vacation, and he can probably afford a mortgage in this town, which is more than a lot of people can say. In that sense, being Randy Quaid isn't such a heinous thing.

But it's got to be hard when your brother is Delicious -- er, I mean, Dennis -- and you will always be considered the Quaid who, sure, is great at what he does, but maybe got stuck in the shallow end of the physical gene pool while Dennis was busy marinating in all that good DNA juice that buxom blonde hotties have spent his lifetime licking off of that manly, sculpted chest.

All that goes to show why we at Go Fug Yourself were so sad to see Randy apparently just giving up in this manner. It was a shame, because it's not that Randy is ugly; it's that his brother is, in some senses, Adonis Quaid (have you SEEN The Parent Trap? Lindsay Lohan is probably pissed she was only 12 back then, because Dennis would've been a way hotter grossly inappropriate bar fling than Bruce Willis). There's a reason Dennis is "Sinned" backwards, and it's because that's what he makes nice girls want to do. But that muumuu... it was an alarming sign of surrender from Randy. We thought we might never get him back.

Until today.

Randy looks healthy, happy, and as if he's raided Sinned's wardrobe. A white t-shirt and a leather jacket, paired with jeans, is a universal thumbs-up, especially when it does not appear to be accompanying any kind of mid-life crisis/trucker hat. In all, I'd say Randy is proving he did at least breast-stroke his way into a deeper part of the DNA reservoir. He looks fetching! Rock on with your Quaidness, Randy!

And most vitally, congratulations on pulling yourself out of smock doom. Those were terrible times. Don't ever hide your light under a muumuu again, okay?

Posted by Heather at 10:51 AM in Well Played | Permalink


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