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November 29, 2005

The Fuginator

Linda Hamilton is famous for a few things, but here are the two biggest: 1) dripping sweat, growling, and kicking ass in the first two Terminator movies, and 2) making off with half James Cameron's net worth -- the second-richest divorce settlement in Hollywood history -- when she caught him docking the ship at Suzy Amis Pier during the filming of Titanic.

So I was understandably alarmed to see her in this:

At first glance, I thought this was Kirstie Alley, from whom a batshit-crazy combo of cowboy boots, an enormous cardigan/coat/portable king-sized bed blanket, and a lingerie slip-dress is at least expected. But Linda Hamilton... okay, at the very least, she's got enough cash to buy an outfit that's seasonally appropriate, rather than such a thin satin shell that she has to Bill Cosby herself into retaining some body heat.

There's just something faintly "I just woke up -- where am I?" about the whole photo. Which, again, totally par for the course from Kirstie Alley, and quite honestly, I prefer my Rebecca Howe two-parts hyper-ventilating, three-parts zaftig, and ten-parts deranged. But if Linda Hamilton turns up on any Pier 1 Imports commercials, I think we should stage an interfugtion. The woman who stabbed a man in the knee with a pencil does not need to start hawking wicker furniture.

Posted by Heather at 02:51 PM | Permalink


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