Co-Ed Fug Girl

Tori Spelling, who will always be Donna Martin to me -- well, except when she's the Bitchy Cheerleader Kellie Martin Stabbed to Death With a Vegetable Peeler in the BEST LIFETIME MOVIE EVER -- has had a really busy year. There was the million dollar wedding, of course. And then there was when she met her co-star on some sure-to-be hilarioso Lifetime movie, fell in love with him, and they decided to leave their respective spouses and, in his case, his second grader and new baby.  And now she's allegedly getting in on the celebrity pregnancy trend.

Her outfit at the VH1 Big in '05 doesn't do much to disprove this rumor. To wit:

I think that if she weren't baking a baby bun in the old Spelling oven [apparently, her womb has a gift wrapping room and a bowling alley!], she'd show up in something skin-tight, rather than formal shorts [and you all know how I feel about formal shorts] and this floaty tunic top. Which would be cute over a bikini, down at the pool -- very Julie Cooper Nichol -- or even with jeans, but with shiny sharkskin-y shorts? Seriously? Shorts? Shiny shorts? SHINY PREGNANCY SHORTS?  DONNA MARTIN GRADUATED FOR THIS?