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December 02, 2005

Well Played, La Lohan

We here at GFY have a bit of a love-hate-love relationship with Lindsay Lohan. We love The Parent Trap (don't look at us like that), we liked Mean Girls, we adored the red hair, and frankly, we loved that she got Aaron Carter ripped away from her by Hilary Duff because, well, she was better off without that squirrely tick. We even secretly enjoyed her crazy Wilmer Valderrama obsession, breakup, and subsequent awkward club-hopping snafus. And we not-so-secretly cheered her on when she delivered big-fat-flip-off after big-fat-flip-off to her rageaholic father.

But we hated the emaciation, the blond hair, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, the blond hair, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Not To Be Confused With Our Star, Who Is TOTALLY PROFESSIONAL AND CLEAN And Not At ALL Loaded And Has The Perfect-Sized Chest, We Swear On Our Lives, and the self-congratulatory PR trips to coffee shops with Nicole Richie where they'd pretend to eat food for the paparazzi so that people would stop blaming their dramatic and potentially tragic weight losses on either anorexia or cocaine. And we love to hate her music career.

Essentially, though, everything in the "hate" column was born of affection -- a fondness for things like her endearingly blunt interviews, because even when we thought maybe they were stuffed full of lies she at least mimicked disarming candor, and for the fact that she's a talented actress even if she is a pretty mixed-up 19-year old. In sum, she's an oddly rootable kid, despite not being able to drive worth a damn. [But we won't worry about her vehicular idiocy until she gives her keys to whatever boozed-up Greek shipping heir du jour she can pull out from under a rock.]

With all that in mind, then, this photo encouraged us immensely:

Lindsay, congratulations. You look chic in that delicious coat, and the dark hair looks fantastic on you. Never, ever go blonde again, even if the part seems to demand it. That only worsened that sickly-looking phase you went through.

We are also thrilled to see that you have rediscovered food a little:

You look slender but not bony, toned but not devoid of body fat. The collarbone no longer threatens to pierce through the skin; the chin you dieted away (a la Nicole) seems to have returned. Okay, so the dress pancakes your chest a little, and I don't think those are the right shoes for the ensemble, but generally you have a nice clean line and you look charming -- it's all pretty flattering.

But most important is the fact that you are, little by little, allowing some meat back on your bones and into your sandwiches. And, the dark hair is brilliant, even if you only did it for your role in Bobby. Keep it. Although, I still miss the Mean Girls red and wish you'd go back to it -- you've never looked better than in that movie -- but this, I can live with; this at least doesn't wash you out. You look striking, instead of strung-out. Work it. Do not let another jug of bleach near your head unless it's a necessary means to an auburn end.

Still, a final plea: If you really are dating Jared Leto, he of the stringy hair and the tendency to appear as if personal hygiene is a foreign concept to him, then ... please consider workin' it somewhere other than on his particular lap. You're young. Go get your groove on with somebody who's, say, in his twenties -- or who is at least pretending to be in his twenties (Heath Ledger, I have my eye on you, pal). Stay away from the brooders (and the Bruces) and go have some fun. Go find one of those boys on Supernatural and frolic yourself silly.

Posted by Heather at 11:32 AM in Lindsay Lohan, Well Played | Permalink

 

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