January 31, 2006
Hooked On a Fug
Here at Go Fug Yourself HQ, we operate under very few rules. But there is one rule we live, and, yes, die by. One rule that can not be broken. One rule we hold close to our hearts and cuddle and treasure like a tiny blind three-legged puppy that saved our mothers from a house fire.
And that rule is: don't hassle the Hoff. Because once you've lived through his mind-blowingly masterful video of "Hooked on a Feeling," and, therefore, known true joy, you realize that this man?
Is pure goodness and truth. "But, Jessica," you say, "he's wearing a frock coat." SHUSH. "Um, did you not notice that the frock-coated is STRIPED SATIN?" you ask. HUSH. "It's a STRIPED SATIN FROCK COAT! A FROCK COAT!" you scream. And to that I reply, BITE YOUR TONGUE, CHILD. This man wore OVERALLS OF FUR with aplomb. He rocked a GIRDLE UNDER SWIMMING TRUNKS. He was man enough to concede stardom to a CAR. I say, he can take that shiny, shiny, ridiculous, Las Vegasean striped satin frock coat and wear it all over town! ALL OVER TOWN, I TELL YOU! I shall NOT hassle the Hoff! Not for you! NOT FOR ANYONE!
Posted by Jessica at 12:38 PM | Permalink