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January 26, 2006


It's sort of a no-brainer that this outfit is weird. Fishnets, pixie boots, the whole Santa's-On-Vacation-So-Let's-Throw-A-Cocktail-Party-Before-He-Gets-Back-And-We-Have-To-Start-Making-Toys-Again aura that the ensemble projects, the fact that Lisa Sheridan really ought to stand up straight... it's all sort of right there in your face, along with all the Invasion jokes about what manner of aliens appear to have begun inhabiting the part of her brain that manages her wardrobe.

But what really makes me sad about this photo is how pre-crazy Katie Holmes it is. Look at her -- she's got that vibe, that sort of weird awkwarness to her expression, like she's still sort of nervous about having to smile at these things; there's the shiny hair, the bangs, the unprepossessing manner, that slouch... all those things are hallmarks, to me, of what Ms. Holmes used to do when she'd go out in public. And, ergo, all those things make me sad that Katie Holmes herself isn't getting to do this stuff. She should be going out to things at TCAs and promoting her work -- real work that she got herself, and which hasn't been selectively edited -- and she should be making cringe-worthy fashion choices and buying ill-advised pixie boots while she and Michelle Williams talk about gay cowboys, instead of shopping for pumps at Barney's with Posh Spice. We should be getting to make horrible puns like, "Wow -- Dawson's Reek!" And, "Poor little Joey Potter -- they always said she had 'It,' but we didn't realize 'It' meant 'sartorial dementia.'"

As it is, we have to settle for "Kate Cruise," leech on a man-alien, incubator to the Rambaldi baby (or whatever that thing is in there), and altogether pitiable pregnant lady who just makes us all hurt a bit for how miserable she's going to be soon, if she isn't already. And while she tries to convince herself that selling her soul so she could be famous for who she's with rather than what she's done at work was actually a really stellar idea, her rightful place in the annals of Ugly But Youthful Fashion Errors is being usurped by other pretty girl-next-door brunettes like Ms. Sheridan, who are clever enough to shack up with tiny men who are at least hilarious and awesome, like her alleged fiance Ron Livingston.

So: Bad outfit, Lisa, but good on you for not going all the way toward being Katie Holmes.

Posted by Heather at 01:02 PM | Permalink


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