Fugdy

Brandy, Brandy, Brandy...

You were TV's Moesha. You gave birth on MTV. Your IMDb bio claims you "are no longer a vegan." And, sure, I've always been a little frightened by your mouth, but you used it to lie about a "secret marriage" to your ex, and that was pretty fascinating.

So why did you think you could slip this past us? You know how we feel about formal shorts. You know how aggravated we are that when we went shopping for skirts on Saturday, we couldn't find any, because apparently shorts are the new skirts and nobody's bothering to make clothes any more for people who don't want each thigh to be encased in its very own fabric tube (unless they are boho skirts, and that simply won't do at all). The whole look is a little throwback: the cropped top, the suit jacket, the shorts... take out the boots, and you're looking at something Tatyana Ali would have worn on a very special episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, when she attended a rally at California University and met a fetching boy named David Silver.

And the wig, Brandy. The wig.

I saw that thing at Aaaaaaaaaah's last Halloween, I swear it -- I think it was part of a French Revolution "dishevelled aristocrat running from the guillotine" costume. And it looks like someone plopped it onto your head with all the delicacy of Tara Reid leaving a club at 2 a.m. You can do better. Please beat this.