Oscar Fug Carpet: Lauren Hutton

Imagine you're one of the world's first supermodels. (Not Janice Dickinson, though. She might be totally coked out -- we said, might, legal-type people -- but she'd never pull this kind of stunt.) And say you're going to the Oscars.  And say that despite being on the other side of the half-century mark, you're totally gorgeous and aging really gracefully. So when you open your wardrobe, what do you decide to throw on?

Sure. A tribal crotch shield,  be-pom-pomed cropped pants and mocs. That makes perfect sense.