Oscar Post-Party Fug: Pamela Anderson

You know, with Lil' Kim behind bars and unable to fulfill her duties as our nation's captain of decorum, it's thrilling to see first runner-up Pamela Anderson stepping in so assiduously:

Lovely boob tape, dear -- must be industrial strength. But you might want to put the dogs away for a little while. Nobody likes a yappy pup who won't stop making noise and is constantly jumping up and trying to eat your pantleg.

The acting Dread Pirate Parton, who manages to rein hers in so admirably these days (two Oscar outfits, zero embarrassing decolletage), would be beyond horrified.