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April 26, 2006

You Are My Fugsion For Life

Oh my god, it's Crazy Beth from Passions at the Paper Magazine Beautiful People Party! How did SHE get in?

It appears that she just snuck in on the way back from a late Tuesday night run to Rite Aid for ice cream and magazines, judging from the sweatsuit, flip flops and no makeup. Seriously, did she just see the party on the way home from buying Monistat and decide to crash? 

But maybe I'm being unfair. After all, Crazy Beth's life is hard. First, her first love, Luis,  married that Sheridan Crane while she, Crazy Beth, was stuck at home with her incontinent mother and a very very smart monkey, and then she had a total break with reality and hired killer clowns to kidnap Sheridan and hide her in a pit in the basement -- all the while being aided by a murderous lesbian named Charlie who was in love with her, but who later turned out to be HER FATHER in DRAG -- so she could steal Sheridan's baby and pass it off as her own as a way to lure Luis back, but of course, she also had to pretend to be pregnant, so she was walking around town with a sugar bag strapped to her belly, which of course would leak occasionally, and then people started to suspect that something was awry, so she had to run them down with a car and, oh, it all just got very, very complicated. Anyone would sort of lose the ability to dress appropriately for an event, don't you think?

Posted by Jessica at 11:00 AM | Permalink


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