Mission Impossible: Fug

"Hey guys! Man! I LOVE THESE PHOTOGRAPHERS! Photographers are my FRIENDS. When you have a girlfriend you may or may not have forced to fake a pregnancy for you, and you need the public to know that she is just HUGE with your child -- the FRUIT of your HETEROSEXUAL SEED -- all you need to do is push her out of the car in front of Barney's, and these dudes are all OVER HER! Man, they're the BEST. THE BEST! You guys should be on my payroll! FOR REAL! EVERYONE SMILE NOW. YEAH!

You may have noticed that I also fixed my bangs. Kate -- she's KATE NOW, by the WAY, none of that 'Katie' stuff, and BY THE WAY, it is NOT at ALL weird that a man to whom she is not even MARRIED is making announcements about how she should be addressed, instead of letting her, you know, SPEAK IN PUBLIC, I don't care WHAT YOU SAY OUR RELATIONSHIP IS SO NORMAL AND BEAUTIFUL AND STUFF -- looked at them last week and started to cry. I CAN'T SEE MY WOMAN CRY. So I pushed them back up again.  She kept crying but this time IT WAS FOR JOY BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME AND MY REGULAR OLD FASHIONED MAVERICK HAIR. MAN! I feel so GOOD! ONE MORE PICTURE GUYS! YEAH!"