Monica Befugcci

I've never quite gotten Monica Bellucci. I can recognize that she is a lovely woman, but she's not a traffic-stopping exotic stunner to me even though I've heard her referenced as such. Unlike with, say, Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose effortless glamour always captivates me, my gaze always drifts past Monica Bellucci without registering. It never stops on her -- she never grabs me and makes me stare because of the charisma or rare beauty she possesses. In fact, all I can ever summon up about her is that she is a brunette, and she is married to Vincent Cassel, who was funny in Elizabeth and extremely flexible in Ocean's Twelve.

But, I'll give Monica props for catching my eye here:

What, may I inquire, is that? Did someone shoot a bird that had landed on her dress? Is the gown itself made from fabric depicting Christmas lights that she once considered as material for a tree skirt? Why did the jeweller loan her a necklace that drops down her cleavage instead of laying gracefully against all the other exposed real estate to the north? And why is there a camel belt around her waist?

And also, Mon, one final reason why CZJ has it all over you: On her deathbed you would never catch Catherine Zeta-Jones with hair that stringy. Somewhere, there's a Kling-On extra from Star Trek going, "Hey... I think that's my old hairpiece!"