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June 26, 2006

90210: A Legacy Of Fug

DAVID: I really, really like my outfit. I am a hip-hop legend in the making.

BRENDA: I am SO bored with it taking three hours to unzip my pants. GOD, it's no WONDER Dylan dumped me for that bitch.

BRANDON: Calm down, Bren. We all have high-rise pants. The whole world is suffering. Andrea and I are going to do an editorial about it for The Blaze.

BRENDA: Can it, BRANDON. Aren't you supposed to be at the Peach Pit?

DAVID: No, I mean, look at me. I really think I'm going to take the music world by storm -- George Michael would totally wear this. Why hasn't Donna had sex with me?

BRENDA: Because you're dressed like the village idiot who ran off to join a marching-band circus.

BRANDON: Easy, Bren. Remember, you're wearing a vest.

BRENDA: Thanks, BRANDON. You know, I hardly think wearing tight jeans stuffed with a bowling ball gives you the right to talk about other people's clothing.

BRANDON: Chill, Bren. [Insert name of Girlfriend Of The Week here] likes them that way. And Mrs. Teasley lets me get Steve out of trouble more often when I'm dressing left.

DAVID: ... Oh God, you're right. These pants are terrible. They look like something Scott would wear, if he hadn't accidentally shot himself with his father's gun while trying to impress me.

BRENDA: David, I don't want to talk about death. You are so INSENSITIVE to the fact that sometimes, I get really scared. I got held at GUNPOINT. And Dylan's father blew up.

BRANDON: Don't worry, Bren. David's not going to blow up.

BRENDA: I don't CARE if David blows up, BRANDON. GOD. You never LISTEN to me. I'm just SAYING that...

DAVID: Will you guys stop pretending I don't exist? Donna's never going to let me inside her spandex pants. She is so precious to me. But... would it be weird if I asked out Kelly again? I know she's my stepsister and all, but I DID see her naked. She is also so precious to me. Am I precious to her?

BRENDA: David, Kelly is a total slut. She'll fall in love with anything that dangles.

BRANDON: Relax, Bren. Nat told me never to...

BRENDA: Stop lecturing me, BRANDON. We can't all get a Zen high off the fumes of our hair gel.

BRANDON: Look, I think we all need to just take a deep breath.

BRENDA: It's just so hard sometimes. All my life I've wanted to be treated like an adult, but I've suddenly realized... being an adult comes with so much responsibility, and maybe I'm just not ready. Maybe I just want to be Daddy's little girl sometimes.

DAVID: Uh, Brenda? I think you picked the wrong time to spit out the moral of the week.

BRENDA: Well, at least I'm not a VIRGIN, David. At least I'm LEARNING THINGS. At least I finally got my HAIR right.

BRANDON: Dial it down, Bren. It's not David's fault that he drew the short straw and got stuck with Donna. Let's just be cool, okay? Come on -- we should go find a homeless person to bring home for the holidays.

Posted by Heather at 02:20 PM | Permalink

 

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