Dynasty: Fugly Matrimony

There comes a moment in each girl's life when she thinks to herself: "My incredibly wealthy fiance -- the arch rival of my former husband, with whom I may still be in love -- has just wound up in the hospital, thanks to my overly vigorous love-making.  I better go marry him now, so I can inherit all his money, and his company, and therefore ruin the lives of everyone who has ever wronged me. But he's only semi-conscious, and he's sleeping in an oxygen tent. What can I possibly wear so that he can properly see me, his glorious bride?"

As always, Alexis Carrington (almost Colby, as soon as she gets to the hospital) has the answer: