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June 13, 2006

Fug Lively

I quite liked The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Which makes sense: I love my sisters, I love traveling, and you know how strongly I feel about pants. It had everything. Plus, it was well-acted, I laughed, I cried, and I envied Blake Lively her pretty, pretty spun-gold hair.

I do not, however, envy her wardrobe.

For one thing, her hair needs a good brushing, some roots work, and some anti-frizz, and Blake should never again accept makeup advice from a woman in spandex named Kitten, because Kitten's red lipstick is on her face for a whole different purpose.

Most gravely, though: A girl who starred in a movie about the magic of pants should respect the mighty trouser by pairing it with a shirt that is cute, or at least, that is not this one. The cascade of apples itself, while twee, isn't as off-putting as the enormous shiny belt strapping down her ribs, which not only seems a tad unnecessary -- her ribs aren't going anywhere, at least not until she joins with the rest of Hollywood and gets a few removed -- but also underlines the already somewhat unflattering contours of the shirt itself. Doesn't she look supremely bloated? A touch pregnant, even? And, look, we've all been there -- well, the bloated part, anyway, although there was a woman on I Want To Be A Soap Star who claims she came down with just a very mild and practically nonexistent case of pregnancy; I think I love her -- and we all know that on the days when we're retaining water like it's the best divorce lawyer in town, we should perhaps adjust our wardrobe accordingly.

Posted by Heather at 11:20 AM | Permalink


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