Shar Fugson

Well, I hope you've all said good-bye to your loved ones and put your affairs in order, because I am pretty sure this is a sign of the end:

The ancient readings do say:

When the first of the womenfolk afflicted by the accursed man-wand of Federline appearth in public having donned a faux-bodysuit atop otherwise acceptable she-wear, know that the time hath come to yoke thy oxen and harness thy goat, for this is but the first of the signs of the end time.  The second sign shall be witnessed when the second of the womenfolk afflicted by the accursed man-wand of the Federline walks the streets of Malibu in bare feet, a pathetic expression on her face, as she is chased by men bearing cameras. The third and final sign of the end time occurs when the sun shines upon the face of the alleged offspring of Maverick, Lord of Xenu and Joey of the Potters and this is witnessed by  persons not in the  employ of  the Lord of Xenu. Then blood shall rain from the sky, the waves of the oceans shall run backwards, and Kimberly Stewart shall assume her true wolfen form as the world dies, just in time for the Emmys.

So, that seems pretty clear to me.  Unearth the canned goods and find the key to the fallout shelter!