August 28, 2006
Emmy Fug Carpet: Debra and Eva
Any time you hear Debra Messing being interviewed about working on Will & Grace, she usually cops to being the most humorless person on the set.
... Okay, maybe that's my paraphrasing, because I'm predisposed not to like her on account of all the rumors that she's a prickly harridan. But she has gone on the record as saying her wit is by far the slowest out of that crowd. And there's nothing wrong with that -- not everyone has to jockey to be the funniest person in the room -- but that insight does make it rather fitting that she bored the pants off me during her final red-carpet trot in the name of Grace Adler.
My first, incredibly eloquent thought when I saw this was, "Well... all right. I guess. Snore." I'd have liked to see a necklace to add interest, or an updo that didn't look quite so thoughtlessly thrown up; you can't see its ragged edges here, but suffice to say it did put the "mess" in "Messing," and I blame her entirely for failing to captivate my imagination and forcing it to wander into that awful, punny place.
Something about it isn't quite right, an elegant idea oddly executed -- the fit is a tad wonky, and the fringe looks surprisingly cheap. It's as if she were the model for a picnic-supply themed Project Runway challenge, and Jeffrey "If He Made My Mother Cry I Would Have Bitch-Slapped His Undersized Head, Which Looks Like It Was Squeezed Out Of A Tube, And Then Throttled Him By His Neck Tattoo" Sebelia had one night to cobble it all together out of bulk-bought paper napkins.
Speaking of paper napkins:
Tony Parker just looks pleased that his attorney happened to be tall enough to loan him an old suit. Whereas Eva -- who, I must clarify, is not wearing shoes of two different colors; it's a trick of the lighting -- is swaddled in a crispy, crunchy white papier-mache ode to Pac Man that is kind of swallowing her whole.
And why, WHY GOD WHY, do people feel the need to go so tan and golden that their skin and hair ends up more or less the same burnt-sienna shade? Where's the contrast, Eva?
I suppose it's no coincidence that her name anagrams to, "Voila! Orange!"