August 28, 2006
Emmy Fug Carpet: Paula Abdul
In these crazy times -- these wild, unpredictable times -- we are grateful that until she is recaptured by the doctors whose straitjacket she slipped out of a few years ago, there will always be Paula Abdul.
And sure, this isn't as loony as half of what she wears, but the pattern is a trifle young for Ms. A -- it's much more befitting, say, an 8th grader at her very exciting graduation into high school than a talent-contest judge.
And, no less, a talent-contest judge who probably never had an 8th grade graduation, because you can't very well pass Language Arts when your idea of a complete sentence equates more to my three-year old niece's rudimentary finger-painting than, say, Claude Monet. [Although, at least my niece has a vision when she's smearing paint around.]