Teen Choice Awards: Sophia Bush

Okay, listen: I am not happy about having to write this particular post. I have a large and shameful soft spot for Sophia Bush, for several reasons. 1) She's very pretty, and if I could figure out some way to steal her hair and swap it for my own, I would. 2) She handled the whole Mrs Chad Michael Murray thing with about as much class as could be expected. I mean, we've all gotten involved with someone we should have avoided, but her Inappropriate Manchoice went and skanked it up with Paris Hilton. That sucks. Good for her for cutting him loose. 3) And now she still has to work with him? Awkward. Workplace relationships gone awry are never fun, but I've never had one where I was then contractually obligated to make out with Mr Gone Awry in front of all the rest of our coworkers for months afterward. So I have a lot of sympathy for her. 4) We went to the same high school, albeit not at the same time, as I am a withered old crone and she is a young, fresh lass of the appropriate age to be invited to the Teen Choice Awards. 5) She's really rather charming and sassy on One Tree Hill, which I somehow got sucked into watching last season, like a black hole, and now I can't seem to get out. It's really, really bad, and yet I enjoy it immensely. But we all I know I have problems. 6) Sophia is almost never poorly put together. Really. This is, I believe, her first appearance on this site. And yet:

It's basically a scroll-down. When I saw the top, I actually assumed it was a short dress -- which would, I think, be cute in a sort of summer-y, virginal, bridal way. And the neckline and bodice is really flattering on her. Seriously, in your mind? Cut it off just right above the knee, and give her some better shoes. Workable, right? But this thing just WILL NOT END. It just goes on and on and on and on and I feel like, if you have her cute little figure, why are you covering it up? (I am going to spare you the 'hiding her light under a Bush-el' pun that just occurred to me, because I am nice like that.)  In fact, this recalls nothing so much as that one season of 90210 where everyone was inexplicably wearing long, kind of shapeless, polyester dresses in unflattering shades of beige, which was okay for Jennie Garth, because I think she was pregnant, but which did Tiffani-Amber Thiessen no good at all. And most of us, in that scenario, are the TAT, and should bear the lessons we have learned from her in the forefronts of our minds. And so I say to you, Sophia Bush, take my fugging of you in the spirit in which it is intended -- with love! tough love! -- and the next time you go out, show us a bit of leg or a spot of color or both. Let's continue to show that cad Chad what he's missing.