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August 22, 2006

Two Become Fug

Okay. True confessions time: I love Posh. When I read her fantastic autobiography, Learning to Fly, I found myself, against all odds, deeply enchanted by her. There is something about her that is so deliciously over the top and tacky -- yet the book is also very self-deprecating and charming. When I finished it -- it was like 1,500 pages and yet it only covers her life up until she had Brooklyn -- I realized that I want these two to make it work, against all odds. I know that's probably a pipe dream, but I can't help it. I secretly lurve them!

What I don't lurve, tragically, is her outfit here:

And do you know why?

BECAUSE THESE ARE POSH AND BECKS IMPERSONATORS.  Thank God. Prior to confirming this, Heather and I had a frenzied conversation in which we decided if it actually was Posh, she must really be pregnant again -- and god, I hope she is, and god, I hope it's a girl. Can you imagine what they would name a girl? I vote for Versace. Versace Victoria Beckham -- but that if the man involved actually was Becks, then something had gone TRAGICALLY AWRY with his face. I may have used the sentence, "Why would he DO SOMETHING to his BEAUTIFUL FACE?!" Which might have been followed by some gnashing of teeth.

But, thank God, David Beckham has not had a tragic run in with a nefarious plastic surgeon, and Posh has not ACTUALLY left the house in an off-the-shoulder tunic with a tiger drawn on it. I mean, she dresses crazy sometimes, but there is no way she's actually go somewhere dressed in something I owned in 6th grade.

I wish I were a fly on the wall in the Beckham household right now, though, just to hear her scream about this. Heads, I suspect, may roll. No one sends out her impersonator dressed like a model from the Lillian Vernon catalog! No one!*

*Okay, fine. Our sources tell me that Posh actually HAS worn some kind of terrible tiger outfit out and about. So, to sum up: these people are impersonators, but the shirt may in fact by an accurate representation of an actual shirt that the actual Posh has actually worn OH MY GOD WHY IS THIS SO COMPLICATED?

Posted by Jessica at 04:18 PM in Posh & Becks | Permalink


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