September 05, 2006
Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Fug Like Me?
While I'm stunned that the Pussycat Dolls managed to win an MTV VM-Eh award, I'm always happy to see this anonymous gaggle of "singers" prowling the red carpet.
Lead Cat -- we know she's the lead because she is allowed to stand slightly ahead of the rest -- actually looks okay, as does the blue sparkly one next to her, who resembles an Apollo 13 wife on her way to a launch party but is at least managing to make retro-chic work for her a bit. Well, except for the bun, which I suspect cost $13, and may actually be a pastry with cheap hair extensions wrapped around it.
Duff Cat on the left up there continues her remarkable embrace of all things Hilary Before Her Good Makeover -- down to the little extra-cinched hem on her dress, which echoes something Hil has already worn. But she should fire whomever chose a dress for her that has built-in wrinkles; ditto Bland Cat, second from the right, who looks like she shook it out from a crumpled heap in her neglected dry-cleaning pile and figured that no one would notice because one of the other cats was bound to look worse. (She was half correct.) And Posh Cat on the far right, whom I once thought bore a passing facial resemblance to everybody's favorite footballer's wife, was obviously erroneously inspired by Lindsay Lohan's Shakespearian bloomers. She barely coughed up a hairball's worth of original fug.
Aged Cat, meanwhile, looks like the cocktail waitress at the Playboy Mansion's Senior Bunny Texas Hold 'Em tournament. I mean, she's sporting a VISOR with her dress. A VISOR, PEOPLE. You know who else wears visors? Kevin Federline. And come to think of it, there's a slight facial resemblance to him in this photo. So until she earns her way back out of this reeking bog, she's known to me only as Federfeline. And being a groin-licking mewling version of Mr. Spears is a sad, sad fate indeed.