Fuggie Frost

Sadie Frost is a very lucky lady.

Yes, sure, she's faced with the indignity of wearing some really ugly ankle boots, but I'm pleased to report that she was not -- as I initially thought -- the victim of a tragic, senseless avian accident in which a bird drove itself into her skull and died there, permanently lodged in her ear.

No, it was something much more mundane.

Sadie was actually just the victim of a tragic, senseless milliner, who memorialized his own tragic, senseless avian accident by crafting a tragic, senseless hat.

She's also a victim of slightly greasy hair, but really, why quibble when she's so fortunate to have emerged from this without a bird beak enmeshed with her parietal lobe? So what if her eyes look so unfocused and dazed that she might well think she's at Royal Ascot, the poshest of English hatfests? No one will get hurt until she grabs a security guard and tries to place a bet on Posh Spice to win the third race.