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October 02, 2006

Basic Fugstinct

Why are all these people clapping for Sharon Stone?

a) Because she is Sharon Stone, and for Basic Instinct alone she deserves a standing ovation, let alone surviving a brain aneurysm;

b) Because she is headlining a conference on selling one's soul to Satan, and she's just proclaimed, "AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY THE BLOOD OF BABES TRICKLING FROM OUR HUNGRY SUCKLING LIPS, and also, the fact that we have no wrinkles";

c) Because she just shouted the aforementioned statement thinking she is at a conference about selling one's soul to Satan, but actually having crashed an Office Depot Employee Loyalty retreat, and everyone is too polite to correct her;

d) Because they're looking at her from behind, and they know something.

The answer is D.

Well, at least, we assume it's D; it might also be A, B, or C, but D is the only one for which we have firm photographic proof.

You know, I'm beginning to think it was also C -- after all, Office Depot does sell a nice range of paper-shredders, which make excellent props for a demonstration of how having animalistic sex on every spare office appliance is greatly enhanced by immortality (i.e., you can get funky on the Fellowes OD1500C without needing to worry about whether it turned itself on while you were doing likewise).

Do you think she does Hallowe'en parties?

Posted by Heather at 07:37 AM in Sharon Stone | Permalink

 

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