AMA Fug Carpet: Tori Spelling

Just yesterday, I was talking about how cute I think Jaime Pressly looks now that she's got a wee Presslyette percolating. I do wish I could say the same about Tori Spelling at the AMAs last night.

I hope this isn't a Donna Martin Original, because that company is never going to get off the ground if it is:

Judging from the expression on her face, I think the woman standing behind Tori is thinking the same thing I am: "Damn, Donna! That dress is too short! The lingerie-inspired overlay ain't fooling anyone! You can't sit down in that thing!"

And truly, unless this super short number is actually a clever homage to the mini-skirts of Amanda Woodward -- in the sense that we're pretty sure that if Amanda Woodward were to be impregnated (which, of course, she was, but it was tragically an ectopic pregnancy, which was quickly followed by such stressful events as having her apartment blown up, getting cancer, having a lamp thrown into a hot tub in which she was canoodling, and having to shove Antonio Sabato, Jr. off a balcony), this is the sort of look she would go for. Roots included. (We know: Tori isn't coloring her hair because of the BABY, while Amanda didn't color her roots because she was too much of a bad-ass to care. Play along anyway!) -- I can not condone it. It just makes me nervous. It's so short. It looks like it's riding up. Every time she sits down, you know she has to pretend that she's just demurely setting her hands in her lap, when what she's actually doing is pushing the fabric of her skirt down so that no one can see up it.  (A lesson I learned with the Short Demin Mini of July 2004.) And shit's going down with Tori right now, with all the drama with her mother and a new baby and a new reality show and a husband that could very well be trying to get Britney Spears's number, now that she's on the market again. Doesn't she have enough to worry about without worrying about flashing the world?

Take this time to be good to yourself,  Donna Martin. Reject the Hoochie Maternity Wear. We'll all be so much more comfortable.