Bec Fug

We love it when Australia's Melbourne Cup Day rolls around. For one thing, we're assured of hearing from our Aussie readers about the absolute worst get-ups the celebs present inflict on them, and we love having you guys out scouting for us.  For another, there is always someone who looks deliciously fuggable, thanks to the traditional outfits, with the whimsical hats and the flirty little  frocks and the bra tops:

Bec Hewitt -- formerly Bec Cartwright -- is best known, as I understand it, for having been in the popular Australian soap Home and Away, and for marrying tennis star Lleyton Hewitt. And he is, indeed, an handsome accessory to this otherwise horrifying ensemble. That shirt is so wrong that I am pretty much almost speechless.  It's like a cummerbund...attached to a bandage...as styled by Madonna circa 1996. And I can't look away from it. I can only imagine the kind of shenanigans that ensued at this event, as men and women alike fixated on her heinous bra top, spilling their drinks and running into walls. And when Bec and Lleyton got home, she was all indignant that all anyone talked to the whole evening were her breasts, all "my eyes are up here!" and Lleyton was like, "I'm just going to run out and hit my tennis balls around, because I can't tell you that the reason they were fixated on your chest was that you appear to be wearing a couture version of those weird breast-enlargement bras they sell on infomercials, that vacuum pump your boobs into the next cup size. THAT'S why they were looking at you. Cheerio!"

I hope this shirt, in fact, does not set off a web of lies that destroys the very fabric of their marriage.