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November 21, 2006

Fuggie Cornish

In Abbie Cornish's defense, it is REALLY HARD to figure out what to wear out to a premiere when you know that America a) now knows you exist,  b) but only because you're allegedly the girl Ryan Philllllippppppe was hooking up with when he was supposed to be keeping his Man Area only for Reese Witherspoon. You don't want to look too sexy, because then people are going to be all, "WICKED TEMPTRESS! This VILE HARLOT clearly LURED Ryan into her WEB OF DEVIANCE with an UNHOLY PARFAIT of BOSOM and BOOZE!" But if you go too demure, you get, "I find it HARD TO BELIEVE that THIS prim prudette could tempt a man from the WHOLESOME DEMURITY of AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. CLEARLY HE IS GAY OR ON DRUGS!" (People shout a lot, in our experience).

So, this is what she came up with:

She could have just had a tee shirt made that said, "I SWEAR I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME."

Posted by Jessica at 04:19 PM | Permalink


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