November 06, 2006
Exhibit Z that Scarlett Johansson and her stylist don't always know what to do with her:
I would comment on how costumey her makeup is, or on how much I hate the blousy silhouette the torso section of this dress creates, were I able to focus in a serious way on any of those things. However, as usual, I'm stuck trying to figure out how Team Scarlett managed to find a dress again that gives her celebrated rack such an odd mushy mashed shape. To be clear: I am pro-cleavage, and hers is very lovely, but doesn't the cut of the dress make the ladies look, unbelievably, both droopy and perky?
It's like they've been poorly mummified. They're being strapped down against her chest, yet also hoisted up near her neck, all the while both breasts are making hostile advances across the border of Armpit City. Is that even physically possible? What madness is this?